Family Advice
by jrose452
Summary: The Cullen family help Carlisle give Edward advice about dealing with Bella's more female than human needs. Everyone has something to add even if it's not all helpful in Edward's eyes. B/E ONE-SHOT from an on-going fic 2be posted soon Complete


AN – This is set sometime after New Moon and is a one shot taken from a longer story called. A Tale of Broken Bones and Viagra. My wonderful beta liked this section so much however I decided to post it as a one off taster while we work on the rest of the tale. Stay tuned it'll start to be posted over the next couple of months. Hopefully in one big completed story.

Dedicated to my beta WackoJacko.

Usual disclaimer don't own twilight, would love to but don't, I just practice with the characters.

(Think foreplay with that lad down the road, the stepping stone practice guy until Mr. Fantastic comes your way!)

As usual when Bella was in the depth of sleep Edward ran off home to get washed and changed. Coming out the shower though his four siblings were hanging around in his room waiting for him. He flew into his clothes and started towelling his hair dry.

"Way to kill the mood tonight Edward!" Rosalie grinned.

"Yeah 10 out of 10 for that one. Rosie has a very strict no mentioning other women rule when we're in bed together for a very good reason, you should try it!" Emmett added brightly as his love rolled her eyes.

"Yes well, it seems like as on few occasions before, Emmett is known as the tactful one in the family. He doesn't bring up other make out sessions or scream the wrong name, Alice!"

"Edward we've talked about this before. You can't just blurt out whatever is on your mind to Bella when she's laid in bed next to you! How can you be so thick?! I mean if you really need to talk to her about something like that, run it through me first! She won't sleep properly now for fretting about you, your going to make her feel unwell tomorrow doing this. She's weird, she needs relaxing before she sleeps otherwise it doesn't work for her." Alice sighed but could already see she was going to have to have this conversation yet again with Edward before he finally got it.

"You know she's right, if you really want to know what it's like kissing me, I don't mind. I'll help you out and quiet happily stick my tongue down your neck as well. That way you would get first hand experience as well and you won't mess things up so tragically like that with Bella." Jasper explained with a particularly thick Texan drawl that evening. Edward tried to ignore what they were all winding him up about and focus in on how he was still angry at Jasper for hurting Bella again.

"You should never....why the hell did you do that to her?" Edward hissed as Jasper refused to look ashamed and replied quiet boldly.

"You know why, you just don't like it that's all, so your playing dumb. Like a possum! Are you a furry little possum Edward?" Edward dived at Jasper now too cross and too embarrassed by what they'd all seen even though he wasn't quiet sure what he did wrong. He did honestly want to know how she compared them. Jasper found it all rather amusing seeing Edward so wound up and angry he couldn't even attack him properly so laughed and jumped out the way every time Edward tried to lunge for him to inflict some badly needed angry release.

"Come on Alice lets leave these two cowboys for some _alone_ time." Emmett teased as Rosalie jumped up on his back and he grabbed Alice by the arm quickly to get out the room only going far enough so they could turn around and watch from the bedroom door.

"Get off me Edward!" Jasper snapped having being chased around Edward's room to the point where Edward finally got the upper hand and dived off the window onto his head.

"Boys don't you be fighting up there!" Esme called up through the house.

"How could you kiss her? She didn't want you two! How could you?!" Edward kept spluttering struggling to get his head around everything he was feeling as well as a good grip on Jasper's neck and shoulders he was trying to wrestle against.

Unfortunately Edward never really won against Jasper when they fought because despite hearing what Jasper thought, Jasper acted and fought back out of instinct so unlike with Emmett, Edward had nothing to listen in for.

"Fine I won't fight you Edward. You are my brother after all. But your not a blood relative are you?" Jasper grinned and then he sent wave after wave of lust at his Edward who was getting fogged up just like Bella had done previously and so Edward was suddenly hit by Jasper diving on top of him from the side of the bed and pinning Edward down with his cold knee, Jasper pressed down hard on to Edward's stomach for a full on make out kiss.

Just like Bella, Edward didn't stand a chance.

Edward moaned feeling the lust swelling up inside of him as Jasper's mobile tongue worked his magic, despite being furious Edward's fury had all melted in to one big pot of bubbling emotions just as Carlisle and Esme came in wanting to know what all the hysterics was about. Coming in they heard Edward let out another much louder throaty moan, Emmett was laughing so hard he'd dropped Rosalie and for once she wasn't yelling at him. Rosalie was just laughing herself equally as hard as Alice who struggled to stand beside them hanging onto Emmett's arm to try and stay up right and see what was happening next to Bella's bed.

Jasper had Edward pinned to the floor holding his head tightly by the hair as was forcefully kissing him while bombarding him with everything he possibly could. Poor Edward, had never felt so strange in all his existence. No matter how much his mind hissed in outrage his body moaned in enjoyment.

"Err, I'm afraid to ask this boys, but. What on earth are you two doing to one another?" Carlisle wondered seeing Edward laid out on his back unable to move and Jasper leaning over him pressing his lips up against Edward's for a few moments longer despite the two parents walking.

Carlisle took a slightly shocked step forward to see better behind the bed as finally Jasper was satisfied with his work. He gracefully jumped up off his (non-blood relative) brother, wiped his mouth on his sleeve and grinned back at the rest of his family. Edward was still a puddle of emotion on the floor by comparison trying to get back in control as with each wave of lust left him a wave of shock rolled over him closely followed by disgust. He couldn't even sit up and it took several moments for him to manage a suitable glare that didn't have every female of the family going 'awww', at the sight of him.

"He kissed me back! I told you I could do it to him as well." Jasper grinned over at Emmett and held his hand out. Emmett came over and dug around still laughing so hard, he struggled to pull out the right amount of notes to hand over to Jasper who was more than a little aroused by his own work.

Alice noticed and shot him a small smile so Jasper picked her up and ran off down the hallway to their room, they (unlike Rosalie and Emmett) always had the decency to shut the door before they got started. Edward was left in a shocked daze as he finally picked himself up off the floor, pinched the bridge between his eyes, growled and went back in the shower to get Jasper's violation off him. Esme tried to move the Emmett/Rosalie hysterics away from the room without simply pushing them down on top of one another, as Carlisle waited in the bathroom talking to Edward while he showered again.

"Edward, are we going to talk about this? I won't let you shut me out this time. What's going on with you?"

_Good he's actually going to have that conversation with Edward after all these months of me nagging him. _Esme sighed to herself having being nagging Carlisle since Edward first told them about his feelings for Bella. A decade was long enough for anyone to hide from there physical feelings for someone and Edward had at least nine of them behind him now.

"You know what it was. It was him, he jumped on me like he jumped on Bella. She didn't want him to and neither did I but Bella can't fight him off like I can. How could he do that to her? She didn't want him to and he pushed her into doing it anyway." Edward grumbled but Carlisle was rather more concerned with Edward and Bella rather than Jasper and Bella.

_Didn't look like you were fighting all that hard when Carlisle came in to me. _Rosalie decided.

_You were asking for it Edward! And you kissed me back, no wonder your feeling all dirty now! She didn't kiss back quiet THAT much! Even when she thought I was you! She didn't moan for me at all, you did! You moaned a lot for me. Maybe you think that's the problem. That she doesn't want you. God what a dumb ass you are, she moans your name when she sleeps! We've all heard her! She may be dumb for doing so but she does want you! _Jasper grinned as he stuck his head out the bedroom door and high fived Emmett quietly as he past the room.

"Are we going to talk about why I'm walking in on you curled up on the floor with him? I couldn't imagine that you pair in some heated moment would forget about Alice and Bella and prefer each others company? I did used to wonder I'll admit, for a long time I was never really quiet sure about you but I'm sure something else is going off now." Edward's soppy head poked around the shower curtain and glared at his father figure making it perfectly clear how inappropriate he thought Carlisle was to think such a thing about him even more so, him and Jasper together. Even Esme was a bit surprised by Carlisle's comment.

_I can't believe Carlisle said that. I know he used to wonder about Edward but...what's he going in to the conversation from that angle for?_

_I can believe that. Jasper and Edward sitting on a mountain! Climbing in a tent and...oh god Rosalie's looking so hot in them shorts. I wonder if we could have sex without her actually taking them off. Hmm, Rosie, you naughty yummy bear. Edward what do you think?! Could I? _Emmett chuckled and then heard Edward's prudish outrage hissing in the shower.

"What?! How could you think..? WHAT!" Edward snapped quickly being so cross he couldn't quiet sort everything out in his head.

"Openness and understanding of others is a virtue!' Carlisle sighed seeing his son hiss at him and get back in the shower to rinse off the shampoo.

'I wouldn't have minded either way. I just wanted to see you happy. I know it's not the case now Bella's around. I can see it. And I'm glad your happier with her but I will admit, I did used to wonder about you, you were just never very interested in girls, to be honest I was almost surprised when you came home and told me about how obsessively sweet Bella smells to you."

"Why the hell would you think that though in the first place?" Edward grumbled aware Carlisle wasn't about to leave until he'd got something out of Edward.

_Because it's true, dumbass! And you know what Edward I think I can. Just gotta rip the seam a little and I'm in. And people say I can't solve complicated puzzle's. Ooo I can see mid-drift._

_Well you did rather avoid women at all costs and now with Bella you do rather keep off her. Any other randy bloke would have at least tried to tap that! Emmett, stop staring at my tits. Your like a slavering wolf sometimes. Oh we haven't played that game before? Hmm, how would it go? Wolf and the human, Jacob and Bella, two furry wolves. Oh I know. The She-Wolf Rosalie and vampire Emmett. He'd like that. I'd be on top then. _Rosalie decided and turn to face Emmett with a very particular look.

_I know that look! I'm gonna get some now! And over he goes. Haha! _

There was a little squeal of delight just then from Rosalie and a loud thump as Emmett pounced. Jasper however was working at a much quicker pace with Alice.

_Oh gods Jasper! Oh yes right there! Hmm, best not have a vision, might say the wrong....YES JASPER! Good, right name!_

"Think what Edward?" Carlisle wondered oblivious to all the thoughts invading Edward's mind, he knew Edward had to listen to a lot more than the rest of them but sometimes it just didn't occur to Carlisle that Edward couldn't think two conversations and speak another all at the same time when he was so highly strung out and stressed like he was at that moment in time.

_You better not have a vision now! I'm sick of you moaning other people's name out. Your getting worse at it for some reason now. It's not supposed to get worse._

"Why would you think that I wouldn't notice she wants something? I pay a lot of attention to Bella. She won't always explain things to me. I often have to work things out for myself and she's not like everyone else I can't just pull it out her head." Edward explained carefully hoping to get in and out of this horrible conversation as quickly as he could shower in a rush.

_Thank god, at last he actually notices the sexual frustration that poor little human goes through every day and night. Much more and I might have to suggest we take her to a gigolo or something. That or at least get her a little vibrating friend to get her off on once in a while. And yes Edward I may be your mother but your being ridiculous! I never had this problem with your father and he was pretty dam repressed until I came along now wasn't he?! He wouldn't even look at a women before me, you were so shocked he brought me home at all._

_Finally Edward, the poor thing needs a good moan! She's so annoying. _Rosalie insisted.

_I'm nearly there Jasper! Nearly! Don't you dare tease me this time!_

"Well the unfortunate way I heard it from Emmett is, that she needs some sexual release and you aren't letting her have it! Apparently she spends all her time feeling hurt and upset that you don't lust after her in the same way she does for you. You can't possibly think girls don't have feelings like that when Alice is moaning like that in the next room?! And never mind the stuff Rosalie comes out with at the top of her voice at least twice a day." Carlisle explained as plainly as he could keeping any amusement out of his voice.

_What about me? Dear husband of mine! I have needs, why don't I get a mention?_

_Damm it Carlisle! Why did you have to bring me into it?!_

"HMMMMM Jasper! Jasper! Yes right there! JASPER!"

_Thank-you. Yes, Jasper makes you happy and satisfied Jasper gets his name moaned! No one else's. Hehe, no one moans Edward's name do they. She doesn't moan from his actions!_

"CARLISLE!" Edward snapped again completely outraged.

"Well you notice her heart rate sounds a bit off sometimes, it's like she's stressed and trying to hold something in? That's how you described it. We all notice that, and never mind Jasper being suddenly over come with lust he has to run out the house and have Alice _calm_ him down _again and again and again and again._ It's ridiculous the way those two behave at the best of times. I didn't think they could get much worse. Don't think I don't know about what they've being doing in the gym cupboard nearly every day even if it is well away from anyone. But you can't just ignore something that's clearly upsetting her a little. She may not even understand properly. You have to remember she's as naive as you are! More so in fact she's never being fully subjected to the wild thoughts and behaviour of your siblings like you have and it's not like she's being with anyone else to learn anything. They aren't exactly subtle about how they behave now are they?" Carlisle finished almost board by the repeated again.

_Oh Alice! Your so good at calming me! I remember the last time, oh sweet rattlesnake! How tight your little..? That first time we ever had sex! Oh Edward you really don't know what your missing mate! Bella's a virgin too!_

"Those pair are animals! I don't ignore her. And I am trying to hold something in! Something dangerous. And Bella does understand, I told her about it. She said she understood that's why we don't... But he's...he's...he doesn't understand, I'm not like him and Emmett. Why can't they leave me alone? I don't need there help in anything! I'm doing perfectly fine with My Bella on my own!" Edward snapped again.

"I know Edward, you aren't like them. And Bella isn't like Alice and Rosalie but it doesn't mean she has the same basic female _needs_ as them. The only difference between you and the other two is clearly Emmett and Jasper have worked out how to meet those basic female needs and satisfy them where as you haven't! Bella never seems all that satisfied to me when I see her."

"Carlisle!" Edward breathed out quietly, shocked his own father would say such a thing to him. He was done now rinsing but was too scared to come out the shower to face anyone while this train of conversation was still in session so continued rinsing water off him with more water.

"She gets excited to see you Edward. And I know you get excited to see her. Excited in lots of ways, some of which Jasper picks up as raging hormonal lust and can't stand to be near her because of it. Don't you get that it's only natural to feel like that sometimes?" Carlisle was surprised not to get his name hissed or snapped out after that instead he got something else.

_Yeah really excited. She just wants the Eddy love doesn't she! Poor thing. Oh Emmett you can be so gullible sometimes._

_Why am I not getting any? She gave me the sex-look, I assumed the sex-position like always when she gives me the sex-look, why am I not getting any!?_

"Jasper shouldn't be too near her anyway he can't control his hunger very well." Edward insisted trying to get away from Carlisle's direct train of conversation.

_Oh for god sake Edward. We know your cross we don't need reminding, now your just side stepping the issue. Jasper can feel it right across the house when he's no where near her and he still needs me to come and...again Jasper? I'm not going to do it...Oh that's nice. Kiss me like that again. Hmm._

_You like that Alice? You seem to...ok more. AND I can too control my hunger! Most the time I'm fine it's just when she bleeds it's a problem. Are we all forgetting that day I spent with her recently, a whole day one on one with Bella and no feeding on her! Not one nibble! Remember Edward you got all jealous because I could make her laugh and you couldn't... OH SPONGE BOB ALICE!_

_HE, didn't see that coming did you? My big toe's useful too!_

"But you can cope! Your getting very good at it now Edward. Your not like Jasper at all, you can manage on your own. I trust you out on your own not to hurt anyone."

_Good get to the point Carlisle. Edward needs to know he has very good self control. He can do things for her. He can make her happy and not stressed out and frustrated! I mean if he didn't want to use his lips to help her, he could even bring a vibrating friend into the mix. Bella's got really sensitive nerves she'll get off on anything in no time!_

Edward's mind went from rage to being completely blank, if there were another mind reader around all they would of heard from him was rolling tumbleweed. He'd gone past shock at the suggestion from Esme now.

"Edward?"

"Yes but only by concentrating. I can't do that if she's...or we're..."

"And yet Jasper has enough self control to snog her face off something you apparently are too scared to do and have to bring up awkward conversation topics to put her off with when you pair are alone together in her room? Edward it's no wonder they were all laughing at you. That's pretty pathetic even for you, talk about something else if you don't want to do something or explain why you don't want to kiss her. But don't start asking her things like, 'what's it like kissing Jasper' after you've spent every moment since making her feel awful and guilty about something she didn't do intentionally. It was all him, not her, you know that but I bet she feels terrible about it. Bella's sweet and nice and I'm quiet sure she feels as if she's cheated on you or something, which is daft because it sounds to me like she was barely even aware of what was going on around her. Never mind the broken wrist she's trying to mend now either. That's really painful breaking bones, why do you think I doped her like that?" He explained smoothly knowing full well Edward wouldn't like to hear it.

_You know I can see why you like her! The way her mouth tastes so sweet and warm._

_I wonder what she tastes like? I could kiss her quick in a changing room to see what it's like as well? Jasper would like that._

_I wonder if Carlisle wants to play doctor's and nurses when they've all gone to school. He'll be stressed out from trying to make Edward see sense about Bella. The last thing we want is for him to loose her now after all this time just because he's not learnt how to talk to women. I mean come on, if Emmett can manage a long term committed relationship with his lusts and lack of conversational skills then any idiot can do it?_

_Oh Rosalie why can't they're be two identical versions of you for me to pleasure?! Why can't we clone you or something? That's not cheating is it? Not if it's you and you. I can please you both._

_Oh Emmett your so cute when your begging for it. Two more minutes of begging and then I'll let you....Oh!...hmm...ok sod it! Come here you big yummy grizzly._

_Yay! I'm gonna get __**a little**__ grizzly tonight! I'm gonna get __**a lot**__ of grizzly tonight! I'm gonna get __**all the**__ grizzly tonight. Coz Rosalie's in heat! Yay! I'm gonna get __**a little**__ grizzly tonight! I'm gonna get __**a lot**__ of grizzly........ _

"CARLISLE WILL YOU MAKE THEM ALL JUST SHUT THE HELL UP IN THEIR HEADS!"

Edward yelped out loudly horrified at the words coming out Carlisle's mouth as well as the thoughts invading his mind. Carlisle merely glared at his son rolling his eyes at his angry out bursts. Clearly this gentle method wasn't working all that well.

"Come on, out the shower you, I know your only rinsing for the sake of it now." Carlisle sighed getting up and rolling his sleeves up.

"Go away, I've had enough of listening to you. I'm not too prudish. Your just spending too time much time with those lot listening at the door. You think they're normal, you never used to be like this, you used to think I was the normal one! It used to just be us and you were never pushy like this then! I liked it when it was just two!"

_HA! So you admit it, you don't like the rest of us. You just want it to be you and Carlisle again. I knew it! I just knew it._

_Edward, I liked it just the two of us as well but things change. You know why I brought Esme home. I love her and I needed the company._

_Well you gave it a go Carlisle I suppose._

_Yeah right, Edward normal!_

_Never going to happen._

_Normal, you! Edward your the biggest stuck up prude in existence._

_I wonder if she'll put the bear gloves on this morning? She's got that look still that I'm gonna get some and yet we're already doing it? What's she gonna let me do?_

_I have a surprise for you Emmey bear! Wanna see it Edward?_

They were all clearly thinking of things to wind Edward up with accept Emmett who'd obviously got a bit distracted when his eyes had roamed up and down Rosalie's legs appreciatively.

"I can't cope talking to you with all them in the house passing comment! Why can't it just be the two of us again? This is impossible with all the thoughts invading me. I'm not talking about it any more. I'm fine. Me and Bella are fine!"

"Edward you have to talk about it because you and Bella clearly aren't fine otherwise you wouldn't be getting so wound up by your siblings and there comments! When things are fine you don't get any where near as stressed out as this."

"KIDS OUT THE HOUSE!" Esme bellowed although she had also being listening to see how Carlisle's talk was going and had come up with passing comments.

"Come on out of there and get dressed." Carlisle insisted pulling the curtain aside to see Edward stood naked glaring at him and dripping wet. Bella would of past out on the floor at the sight of him complete with full on pout but Carlisle merely rolled his eyes.

"No!" Edward pouted crossing his arms.

"Well talk to me then?" Carlisle sighed crossing his arms as well and stepping back a little.

"NO."

"Come on Edward what's got you so twisted up? Ignore the others they may be annoying but they all want to see you happy. But the pair of you are acting really weird around each other. You still love her don't you?"

"Of course I do! It's never going to just stop. I love her so much!"

"Well then there's no reason why you can't fix this then now is there? You love her so let me help you. Tell me what's really bothering you so much." Edward stopped struggling for a moment now and finally admitted to Carlisle quietly but unfortunately the whole house heard him.

"But I'm not even sure what's broken Carlisle?"

_I was worried that might the case. You really don't get it do you?_

"YOUR NOT SATISFYING YOUR WOMEN EDWARD!" Emmett shouted running to the door and then got wrestled out the room by Alice an Esme for being so insensitive even if it was rather a resounding problem in the Bella/ Edward relationship world.

"Well he's not!" Jasper added shrugged and followed them lazily.

"It's not true is it? I make her happy don't I?" Edward worried having always being sure comments like that were just his brothers winding him up to be evil.

Carlisle could see however that for all his confidence around blood and people, Edward just couldn't grasp how to cope with Bella like this. He was on new ground and that hadn't happened for him in a very, very long time. It was no wonder it unsettled him. Carlisle moved over and patted his shoulder firmly leaning in to explain quietly although he knew everyone else was still listening in.

"It's just that one thing Edward. I know it's sometimes a big deal and other times it's not, but for you and her it's always a bit of a dangerous touchy subject. But like I said, you love her, which is the important part, so there's no reason why you can't come up with some way to work around it so your both happy. Now will you get out the shower Edward?"

"But it's too dangerous? How can I possibly do that?" Edward mumbled, positive it must be. Carlisle could see his stubbornness at being right had kicked in now and gave in being gentle.

"Edward, out of the shower!"

"No."

"Edward, out of the shower!"

"No. I don't want to."

"Right then." Edward pulled the curtain back again to wash some more only to find Carlisle's sleeves rolled up reaching in and turned the shower off, yanked the curtain down off the rail and gripping Edward around the middle, Carlisle dragged Edward out the shower by force. Edward kicked out and tried to wiggle free but even his wet body wasn't giving him much wiggle room against Carlisle's solid arms clamped around his middle.

"Carlisle leave me alone!"

"No, you've being scrubbing away in there for long enough. What exactly are you trying to clean off anyway? You were clean enough for Bella before you even went in there!"

"Jasper!" Edward snapped.

"Jasper's gone, your just hiding in there and it's not good for you. I know your worried about doing things with Bella but hiding from it will only make things worse. Is that what your really worried about? Jasper hurting her or is it just you?"

"Will you put me down?" Edward grumbled feeling really quiet ridiculous now wiggling and writhing around in the air, completely naked and sopping wet.

"Are you going to run away and not talk to me properly?"

"Let go of me. Please!"

"Are you going to hold a proper conversation with me?"

"Fine. Let go of me I want to get dressed, I look ridiculous." Edward grumbled.

"Not as ridiculous as your going to look in this picture!" Rosalie teased running in and flashing a camera out to take a perfect frozen image of Edward completely naked, sopping wet, being gripped around the middle by Carlisle's long pale arms and now rather wet chest. Edward just had his left leg lifted high enough to cover his man-hood but other than that he looked about as exposed as he could be.

"Rosalie bugger off!"

"Out you go Rosalie!' Carlisle snapped.

'Now then I'm going to put you down. NO running away from me Edward! You have to talk to me about these things. I don't care how uncomfortable you feel. This is important and I'm not gonna get any until I sort you out!"

_Haha I knew it. I knew it, Esme's making him. I knew he was getting frustrated again. I could feel it. Not as bad as Bella but much longer and Carlisle's going to get grumpy! Esme kicked him out of bed to make him talk to Edward. HeHe!_

_Yes well how am I supposed to get you to talk to him Carlisle? You've managed to avoid it for decades._

"Fine." Edward grabbed his towel and started drying off and getting dressed for a second scowling at Carlisle as he did who now asked.

"Is that what your really, really worried about Edward? Your scared of hurting her? And your just pushing it on to Jasper to try and hide it?"

"Yes! Of course it is, you know as well I do how dangerous I can be to her, it's not just him."

"Well maybe, maybe not, you'll never know until..."

"Until, what, I'll never know for sure until I've climbed into bed with her and right in the middle of....I could kill her Carlisle. Not change her, kill her! Then I wouldn't have her at all. I couldn't bear existence without her! Not now." Carlisle sighed as Edward started yanking on more clothes.

_Can't bring yourself to say that little word can you? Sex Edward! Right in the middle of sex! When you've got her hot warm body tightly rapped around your cock and her hearts pounding away working up to an ecstasy with all that blood pumping around her little delicate body! It'll get worse and worse too as that little flower in her starts to open in delight and make he scream your name! So much so that if your lucky, for once, you and her might actually be relaxed after seeing each other for a change. It would fix a lot of problems for you both! It can't be very nice walking around feeling that frustrated and completely un-satisfied all the time. _Carlisle sighed rolling his eyes mentally at his son well aware he could hear what he was thinking.

"CARLISLE!" Edward bellowed horrified at what he was hearing.

"Well it's true. I've being very patient with your little sensitive ways but you have to grow into a man eventually Edward. And that is clearly what she wants."

"I've being 17 for a long time, I wouldn't know what to do with her." Edward breathed out quietly praying the rest of his family would be too distracted by something else to hear him. Unfortunately no one answered his prayers that night.

"WE COULD TEACH YOU. I'VE GOT VIDEO'S I COULD SHOW YOU. THEY'LL BE VERY INFORMATIVE EDWARD. NOT LIKE THAT CRAPPY SEX ED WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH NEXT MONTH AT SCHOOL! OI, OUCH, MOM STOP THAT! AWWW! STOP HITTING ME!" Emmett screamed up through the house from where Esme had him out the way but still listening in.

"Leave me alone! I'm going back to Bella's to see her wake up. She gets upset if I'm just gone suddenly in the morning. Makes her unsettled all day, I know it does." Edward grumbled as Carlisle hoped that enough would have got through to Edward to make him think on it for a while and maybe, just maybe do something.

"Fine but at least try and work up the courage to think about this. And maybe even try and talk to her about how she feels about things. And you do understand, Jasper's already taken matters into his own hands once he might do it again. And where one goes, the other follow." Edward finished getting his bag full and combing his hair as he heard Jasper's thoughts invading his mind again.

_I'm gonna pump the lust up for you both. Every time I feel a wave of lust off her I'm gonna pump it straight into you! _Jasper teased thinking carefully as Edward flew out to his car to get away from his horrible family.

Edward felt like they were all ganging up on him and it took a while for him to calm down and realise that they were generally trying to help, particularly if Carlisle was talking to him like he used to. Edward however still sulked in spite of that realisation as he sped down the roads back to his love and parked down the street from Bella's house to run up to her room. Jumping in through the open window he'd recently left, Edward saw Bella squirming around unhappy in her sleep and rushed to side.

Thanks for reading, please review and particularly if you could point out any annoying canon mistakes as my dearest WackoJacko hasn't finished the books even if he is Twilight obsessed already.


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